


Crocuses

by sunflower1343



Series: Therapy [22]
Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 12:50:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11898096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower1343/pseuds/sunflower1343
Summary: Reality begins to set in, in the Therapy household.





	Crocuses

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like after The Price We Pay, things couldn't go back to always being as rosy at the Therapy home. This fic was a result. Written April, 2008.
> 
> We're getting near to the end of what I've written for Therapy. There are some cracky things, a ghost story that I thought I'd try my hand at, and a story that seems a fitting end, though there are always other fics that could be written in this universe.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~

Tao ran outside, the wet snow making him slip in his hurry. He wanted to know if his flowers were ready. Cook had given him the bulbs last year and told him that he'd know spring had arrived because they would sprout, snow or not.

He'd planted them by several of the benches that his father like to sit on when he read in the garden. They were a gift to him. He had always loved the scent and color of blossoms around him and that had given him happiness even during the darkest days.

Tao skidded to a halt on the path, his eyes eagerly searching the white for a spot of green.

"What are you looking for, short-stuff?"

 _Akihito_. He smiled. Akihito was the nosiest person he knew. Well, the nosiest that got caught. His other dad always knew everything but rarely let on that he did.

He teasingly took on the superior mien he'd learned from his father. "I'll have you know that on average, the Chinese are taller than the Japanese. Someday I'll be looking down upon you and calling you the same thing."

"I get the feeling you're already looking down on me," Akihito replied with a grin. "What's up? I followed you out here because I thought you were onto something exciting."

"I planted some flowers for my father last fall and they're supposed to bloom in the spring. I thought it would be a nice surprise. He's seemed a little sad lately. Have you noticed, Akihito?"

He still felt a little strange not saying the 'uncle', but Akihito had insisted when they'd talked privately after his kidnapping, so he was determined to get used to it. After all, they were more like brothers.

"Yeah, I noticed. He's not been talking to anyone. I asked Ryu to say something, but he just said Fei had to work it out on his own. Neither one will talk. I'm wondering if something happened between them."

"I'm wondering if it's my fault."

"Tao... No, no it's not. You've done nothing wrong."

Tao kicked a stone on the path a little viciously, sending it into a nearby garden bed. "You're wrong, Akihito. I burst the bubble."

"The bubble?"

"The bubble of happiness that surrounded this house. Nothing bad got in. Father and you and Dad and I could come home every day and just forget about everything outside. But I ruined that, didn't I?"

Akihito walked over to him and put an arm around his shoulder and drew him down to the cold cast iron bench. "Tao, we were just kidding ourselves, pretending that the other world wasn't intruding. But it was. Something was bound to happen to kick us in the ass, and it happened to you. Those guys, you know they were really after me, right? The next time that I'd gone off without a guard, which is all the time, they'd have grabbed me instead. I felt pretty bad about that to be honest. You fell into all of it because of me."

"Because you listened, and I didn't."

"Listened to what? We didn't warn you. We wanted to keep you safe and unaware. That was stupid of us. I'm sorry. Would you have run, if we'd warned you?"

Tao stared at the mix of snow and gravel under his feet as he considered the question. "No. No I wouldn't have. At least, not the same way. I'd have asked Yoh to take me to the library or something, just to get out of here. But I wouldn't have raced away on my own like an idiot."

"See? You're thirteen and you've learned that lesson. I'm twenty-four and it still hasn't sunk in."

Tao glanced over and saw that Akihito's eyes were filled with a slightly guilty laughter. "You sound almost proud to admit that."

"A little. It's fun being reckless now and then. I don't like feeling stodgy, like Ryu is sometimes. And if you tell him that kiddo, I'm going to trim some inches off you so it'll be a long time before you top me."

"Thanks, but I'll leave the 'topping' of you to all the others in the house. I want a partner with breasts."

"Aww, those flappy things are over-rated."

He jumped off the bench with a grin and darted away. " _Your_ flappy thing is over-rated." He bent over and tested the snow. It was perfect. The snowball slid off Akihito's face and straight down into his shirt.

"You brat!" Akihito yelled. "You are so going to get smeared." 

They ran from tree to tree, snatching up the last of the gloppy snow where they could find it, hurling it back and forth until they were both soaked to the skin with the remains of winter, laughing the whole time.

 

\--

 

Fei watched from the window of Asami's bedroom. He hadn't been in there in weeks, not on his own. He wouldn't have come in just now, but he knew the man was firmly entrenched in a pile of reports in his study downstairs. After the shakeup in the underworld over a month ago, they'd had to work some long hours to settle things down in the disputed territories. Once disputed, he corrected himself. Disputed no longer. No thanks to him.

"Well, well. This is unexpected." He closed his eyes. He hadn't even heard Asami come in. Some assassin. Some protector of his child. Some husband.

Asami came up to stand directly behind him, reminding him of that first night, Asami's fingers in his hair as he whispered temptation into his ear. He pushed the thoughts away. "I'm sorry. I'll leave."

"You won't." Arms like steel encircled his waist. Fei knew they wouldn't budge. When Asami spoke his voice was muffled by Fei's mass of hair because he was burying his face in it. "I was wondering if I was going to have to storm your bedroom. I'd tried diplomacy, but evidently Akihito isn't a good ambassador."

"Because you kept him in the dark. You didn't tell him. Why? You could have had him to yourself."

"Are you really such a fool, Feilong? Look at me." Asami forcefully turned him around. "What do you think happened that day?"

Fei was facing Asami, but he refused to meet his eyes. He didn't want to see the contempt he knew had to be there. "I failed. I failed you, I failed Akihito, and I failed Tao. I failed Yoh, my subordinates, and I failed myself. That's what happened."

"Yeah. Yeah, you did. You failed each and every one of us."

He looked up in shock. He didn't expect to hear it so bluntly stated. But Asami's eyes, to his surprise, only held understanding.

"And then you picked yourself up, apologized, and got back to work. That's what you're supposed to do. A loser would dwell on it. You acted like a winner. Or you did. Why the change?"

"I picked myself up because I had to then; it was an emergency. I had no time to think--"

"Stop. You had no time to think. That was a good thing. I've noticed something about you sitting and thinking. You like to dwell on things, things you've screwed up, things no one cares about except you anymore. You create a little cocoon and mope inside it, all those little failures keeping you warm and isolated. It's no wonder Hamada had a mess on his hands when you had seven years built up."

"You're crossing the line, Ryuichi."

"I'm being honest, Feilong. Tell me what I've said that's untrue." Asami's gaze was unrelenting.

Fei couldn't meet it.

He tried to defend himself. "Of course I think about my mistakes. How else can I be prepared the next time?"

"So. The next time Tao is kidnapped and we're in exactly that same situation, how are you going to address it?"

"I'll... be more calm. I'll not let him get kidnapped in the first place." 

"I see. How will you prevent that? Surely all that thinking gave you time to plan?"

He felt like he was standing before a headmaster for oral exams and failing miserably. "Fine! You've made your point. I haven't come up with anything concrete. It's just another example of my failing." He felt tears prick at his eyes, but he was damned if he'd let them spill before Asami.

"What the hell, Fei? Listen to yourself. No. On second thought, don't."

Asami swept his legs out from under him and tossed him onto the bed. He scrambled for the edge but was pinned in an instant by the heavier man, back to the mattress. "No. You're not leaving this bed until I drive every idiotic thought from that overworked brain of yours."

"Fucking isn't the answer to everything!"

"No, but it's a damned good way to make someone stop thinking."

Asami's mouth came down on his hard, cutting off his response. It felt like the air was being sucked out of his lungs, his tongue ripped from his mouth, like he was being devoured. The violence of it was arousing.

His claws came out and he began shredding Asami's suit, the buttons scattering across the room as he tore the vest in half, flinging it aside, trying to get at skin.

Asami pulled back and grasped Fei near the throat, both hands in the neck of his cheongsam. His muscles bunched and the silk split down the middle, leaving Fei bare and open to him. His gazed roamed over the white skin until it met Fei's, hot and wicked. "Do you remember what I said, the first time I took you?"

He remembered. It was imprinted on his soul. 

"Not good. If you remember, you're still thinking. But tell me, Fei. Tell me what I said as I take you again." 

He felt Asami probing him, first with slick fingers, then the head of his cock. "Tell me, Fei. I want to know that you understand what's between us, before I drive it from your mind again."

"You're an idiot." He groaned as Asami pushed the head of his cock into him, then pulled it out.

"I don't care what you think of me right now. I do what I choose. Tell me what my choice was then."

Again, the soft pressure inside him made him cry out right before it was removed. "Ah... Yours. You said I was yours. That I'd... Nnn.... Don't stop.... I'd never be rid of you, even if I wept and begged."

"Ah. You weep, and you beg, and you push me away. But here I am, Fei, still. Never, Fei." Asami pushed forward, deep again, like that first time, pausing only when their hips touched. "I will never let you go." He pulled back and thrust forward, hard and fast. 

Thoughts fled as Asami's powerful hips jarred his body, reaching a point deep inside him that overwhelmed him with sensation.

The movements slowed for a moment, and became almost gentle. "Do you know why?"

He whimpered. "Why what?"

Asami laughed, low and triumphant. "Good answer." And slammed into him again, driving him up the bed, leaving the bed cover shredded in their wake as Fei tried to find something to grasp onto.

"Fool," Asami bent down and whispered, "you can grab onto me."

Tears fell from his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Asami's back and buried his face in his shoulder. Asami lifted him so they were both upright, supporting each other. Fei was the one who moved now, Asami holding him in place, their lips teasing each other's as their eyes exchanged messages.

_I'm sorry._

_There's nothing to forgive._

_I love you._

_I'll always be here for you._

Fei's hips ground down, letting the pressure in him increase with the emotions he felt until he cried out, helplessly shivering as he released everything that had been pent up for weeks. He trembled afterwards, the relief of it being too much, and he let himself slump down against Asami's chest and be held there, knowing the other wouldn't let go.

 

\--

 

They were still sitting in that position when Akihito came in and found them. He was soaked to the bone, but he stopped and leaned against the door frame. Whatever problems Fei was having with him and Tao, he didn't seem to be having with Asami. 

It had been harder, lately, to ignore the feelings of jealousy that arose whenever he walked into a scene like this. He knew it was petty. He hadn't minded two lovers when they were both focused on him, but these increasingly frequent scenes of intimacy between the two that seemed to exclude him were beginning to eat at him.

"So. What's up? You guys have a nice talk? I was just with Tao. He's worried about you, Fei. So was I. I guess we didn't need to be. He's taking a bath downstairs. I think I'll join him."

He turned abruptly and left, not caring that he was being kind of childish. Tao had been upset, with him trying to take his mind off it, and there they were fucking. 

He stomped into the large bathing room downstairs, letting his self-righteous anger build until he was positively angelic compared to the demons upstairs. His clothes flew left and right, Tao watching in awe.

"Akihito? Something piss you off?"

"Why no, Tao. Why would you think that? I'm Perfectly," a wet sock hit the wall, "Happy." The other sock struck the ceiling fan and hung from one blade.

"I can see that. What made you so... happy?"

Akihito stared at the younger man, looking for any signs that his anger wasn't being taken seriously, because he had the feeling Tao was laughing at him. But he couldn't tell for sure, so he climbed into the bath and sat along the opposite wall.

"Ryu and your father, of course. While we're outside worried sick about them, they were upstairs having a good old time, with not a care in the world."

"In the interest of fairness, about eighty percent of our time outside was spent in a snowball fight."

"We only did that to cheer you up."

"We did?"

"Of course."

"Did it work?"

Akihito peered across the tub suspiciously, wondering if he was being tweaked and dismissing the possibility. "Why are you asking me? Are you happier?"

"I have to say I'm enjoying myself more this afternoon than I have in weeks."

"Good. But that's only because _I_ was there to cheer you up. _They_ were just concerned with themselves."

"You _have_ been the main source of my amusement."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Not at all, Akihito. I'm behind you one hundred percent. You were there for me. I'm here for you." 

Akihito nodded.

The door slammed open. Akihito jumped half out of the bath. Tao looked like he'd been expecting it. 

It was Asami, dressed in only his suit pants, and his long strides had him across the floor to the side of the bath in no time. His head turned toward Tao. Akihito breathed a sigh of relief.

Asami's voice was gentle. "Tao, I heard you were concerned about your father."

"I was, and am. He's been too sad again, the way he used to be, and he won't talk about it."

Asami nodded. "He's been thinking about things too much lately. Had too much time on his hands. Why don't you go talk to him? I think he'll be able to now."

Akihito felt a pang of guilt. They hadn't just been having fun. Asami had simply done what he'd asked him to.

Tao climbed from the bath and grabbed a towel, drying himself as quickly as he could.

Asami's gaze hadn't yet moved to Akihito. It was traveling around the room, until it rested on the sock hanging from the ceiling fan. "Tao, are these your clothes? They're a little big for you though, aren't they? Like they should belong to an adult?"

Tao glanced at Akihito apologetically. "Um, they're not mine." He flew from the room, closing the door behind him with a snap.

"I didn't think so."

Akihito suddenly found himself on the receiving end of that gaze. The self-righteousness anger that had carried him down there was deserting him, leaving him more than a little nervous.

"You want to tell me what that little display was all about?"

He knew he was in the wrong. He knew it. He still tried to worm his way out of it. "I thought you guys were just having fun, you know, after I'd been trying to comfort Tao and all. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry about that. I really appreciate you talking to Fei and all...."

Asami stood there, arms folded, eyes boring into him. "We _were_ having fun. We talked, but then we fucked. And it was fun. And hot. And intimate. And Fei and I grew even closer because of it. And I think you have a problem with that."

He was warm from the bath but he could feel his face heat more. "I'm not the one who has problems!"

Asami's eyes narrowed. "What exactly does that mean?"

"It means I'm the only one sticking to the deal! It was supposed to be the three of us. Not two plus one left out. You weren't too happy that first night, were you, out in the car by yourself?"

His hands flew to his mouth. "Oh crap. I didn't mean..."

Asami turned away, bending to pick up some of the clothes that were strewn about. 

Akihito felt even guiltier. Normally Asami wouldn't turn away, but Akihito knew he had to be embarrassed and not willing to show it to Akihito. Because Akihito had driven a wedge between them. 

It was up to him to remove it.

"Ryu, I never meant... I'm sorry Ryu." He climbed out of the bath and hugged him from behind, holding him as if he never meant to let go. "Let's stop this, please. I know I'm being jealous and petty and wrong, and I don't know what to do about it, but I'll try. I love you. And Fei. Please don't shut me out."

Asami straightened, but didn't turn. "I've never shut you out. I don't know how to tell you this any more plainly than I've told you dozens of times. I love Fei, deeply. But you're the very air I breath, Akihito. If you don't believe this by now, I don't know how to convince you of it short of giving this family up, and I won't do that even for you."

"I'd never ask anything like that of you. I'd never want to. And I don't have the right..."

"I've given you the right." Asami turned around. "You have the right to ask anything, even my life, because it's already yours. I've never given myself to anyone like this, not lovers, not family, not this family. No one –no one, Akihito– but you. Tell me now that you're jealous. You don't know what jealousy is."

"You?"

"Not so much, anymore. I love him, and see how he loves and needs you. I want you both to be happy. That's what this arrangement is all about, isn't it?"

"Ryu..." Akihito realized his actions had been much more than childish. "I'm... really ashamed. I don't... is it OK if we don't tell Fei about this?"

Asami laughed tiredly and shook his head. "That's going around a lot, and it's causing problems. I never thought I'd say this, but we need to get these things out in the open. This is a precarious relationship. It's strong because we all love each other, but it can be so easily tipped to one side or the other. We need to be careful."

"The honeymoon is over, isn't it?"

"Maybe. But that just means we're able to see things more realistically and deal with them faster. That's not a bad thing."

Akihito felt a small smile growing. "Does that mean we we're entering the stage where we only have sex once a week?"

Asami answered that the way he always did.

 

\--

 

Fei had dressed in a heavy silk cheongsam and a long wool coat, and he went to find his son, who had also been looking for him.

They walked outside, Tao still red from his bath, Fei a little pale from what had gone before. There wasn't much to the gardens yet, but they strolled about for a while, simply enjoying being together. 

Fei had been following all the marks in the snow with his eyes, and he smiled a little. "It looks like a great battle happened here. Who was victorious?"

"It was a draw. We both stopped when we found what we'd been looking for."

"And what was that?"

"Over here, Father."

Tao crouched down by a gnarled tree. A bench that Fei liked to read on sat next to it. There was a thin covering of snow on the ground, but green shoots were pushing up through the white, and purple buds were appearing. "Look, Father. Crocuses. They want to bloom so much they push right up through the snow as soon as they know it's spring. The cold season is over. It's time to be happy again." 

Fei sank onto the bench, his knees giving out. "Oh Tao... The last thing I wanted was to worry you. I'm so sorry."

Tao looked up from where he crouched. "You forget that I've lived with you since I was small. I know your moods, and how they come, even if I don't understand why." He moved over to the bench and sat next to Fei.

"I know you still want to protect me, so I'll understand if you don't talk to me even if I don't like it. But Father, don't keep it all inside anymore dwelling on it. Talk to Dad, or Akihito, or Hamada-sensei. Don't let it build up again. That was bad for you. I don't ever want to see you that way again." He took Fei's hand in his. "Please."

"Tao..." Fei choked back tears. "I'm being a pretty bad father to be worrying you so much that you have to comfort me."

"Did you try this line with Dad? I'll bet he got pissed."

Fei laughed, wiping at his tears with his scarf. "A little."

Tao handed him a tissue. "I knew you'd cry."

"Am I so predictable?"

"Sometimes," Tao said softly. "But always in a good way, because it's easy to tell what love will make you do."

"I love you, Tao."

"I know. I've never doubted that."

"I'd give my life to protect you."

"I've never doubted that either. I'd do the same for you. Or Akihito. Or Dad. No one else though. Only the ones I love. The ones who love me. But I'll be happier if none of us have to."

"You've gotten a lot smarter chibi, in just a half an hour. I wish you'd doled out some advice sooner." 

Tao turned to see Akihito approaching. "Akihito. You're looking much more... relaxed."

"Asami's Magic Snake Oil. Cures any tantrums."

"Remind me never to throw one."

Akihito laughed. "He wants to talk to you. He's back by the house. Give me a minute with Fei, would you?"

"Sure. Father..."

Fei nodded. "I'll remember. Thank you, Tao, for your gift."

Tao nodded and walked away down the path. 

Akihito sat, his gaze following Tao's figure as it headed back toward the house, then it moved to the flowers at their side. "He planted those last fall for you. He was out here all morning looking for any blooms he could find."

"I know," Fei said softly. "He said they meant it was time to be happy again." Fei bowed his head. "Akihito, I feel so terrible for the way I've been acting." He laughed. "Ryuichi would kill me if he heard me saying that. But I've been dwelling on my failures instead of all the good things I have in my life, and that's been the worst failure of all because I've worried you and the others. I'm sorry."

"Fei, you dwell on crap like that too much."

Fei started laughing. 

"What? It's true."

"I know. It just that everyone seems to see that except me."

"Huh. Well maybe if you talked to us for a change."

Fei leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. "I will. Now tell me why you were angry."

Akihito blushed a little and fidgeted. 

"That bad?"

"Just stupid. I was being jealous. I'm sorry."

"Jealous? Because it was me with Ryuichi?"

"Because it was you two without me. It's childish, I know. I just... feel shut out sometimes."

"It's only natural that you do, since Ryuichi and I work together. But Akihito, you're what drew us together and holds us there. I love Ryuichi, and he loves me. But we're too much alike. We're like mirrors reflecting off one another. You're different. You provide the light that lets us see. Without you, we'd be in darkness. You are always with us, even when you're not present."

"Fei... I don't know what to say."

"That's a first. I'll have Cook bake a cake."

"Ha. Ha. Seriously though, it makes me feel pretty petty about all of this. Ryu, he said that maybe now that the honeymoon is over, we have to make sure to bring these things out in the open or they can really hurt us."

"He's right, as usual. And wait until I tell Makoto who's peddling his advice."

Akihito laughed. "I'll let you break it to him. Speaking of which, they're both probably waiting for us."

"Wait a minute." Fei leaned over and kissed him again, a deeper kiss, taking the time to taste each other. Both were slightly roused when they reluctantly pulled away. 

Fei leaned forward again and nibbled at Akihito's lips. "We really need to go back inside."

"And go to bed." Akihito's hands wormed their way into Fei's coat.

"And have some family time."

"After we go to bed. Would it be too messy out here?"

"Probably, and lack class."

Laughter broke both of them up, and they rose and walked back toward the house, arms around each other's waists.

 

\--

 

Asami waited with Tao. They'd not really needed to talk. They understood one another, and so leaned against the house quietly, side by side. 

Tao had told him about the flowers though. Asami appreciated the gesture the boy had made, but didn't see them as entirely happy things. They stayed hidden under the snow until they suddenly poked out and bloomed. Only not all the blooms are nice. It takes some things a while to come out, and only the vigilant gardeners can cull out the bad.

"There they are." Tao suddenly said.

Asami looked down the path to where they walked toward him, arms around each other, and he snipped off another bud so that the good ones would bloom in its place.

"Let's go meet them, shall we?" He stepped away from the wall, only to find Tao's hand on his arm. He looked down to meet his son's knowing gaze.

"Take your own advice, Dad."

"Doesn't anything ever stay a secret in this family?" 

Tao didn't bother answering. He just smirked in a way that seemed oddly familiar.

Asami laughed to himself. As usual, the good buds overwhelmed the bad. And really, that's what life was all about.

They met the other two on the path and went into their home, leaving the crocuses to their own fate.

 

~end~


End file.
